• Misled Millennial

10 Ways Self-Love Can Improve Your Relationship

Mental health makes everything harder. Especially relationships. How can we support and love one another, when we can’t do that for ourselves?

That’s just it though. We can. We can love and support ourselves quite beautifully, when we make it our mission. Continuing with February’s mission of self-love, and with-it being Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I thought now is the best time to talk about how spicing up your self-love life, can make you a better partner.

It’s so important we don’t let our mental health affect anything else. It’s bad enough we have to deal with it, our relationships shouldn't suffer too.

So, Tough titties mental health, you aren’t being a third wheel anymore!

10 Self-Love Ideas That Will Make You A Better Partner

1) Share how you feel – My dad has always told me, that communication is the most important part in any relationship. He could not be more right! Without communication, we don’t really know where we’re at. Unless you have suddenly mastered the art of telepathy, we don’t really know what others are thinking and feeling.

That’s why it’s so important to express your thoughts and feelings to one another. Talk to each other about how you are really feeling and be honest. Let your partner know how your mental health is doing, what they can do to help, or what calms you down on a bad day. This will not only help you rationalise your feelings, it will also help your partner to feel less helpless. It’s hard for our partners too. I discussed this is my previous post.

2) Make time for quality time – Time together is not just co-existing. It’s not being sat next to each other on your phone, being in the same house, or at the same event. Quality time is where you actually block out time to be the two of you. No outside interference, technology, or preferably, other humans. This will help you feel closer and more connected, whilst giving you time away from the world. Ignoring the world for a little while, can really help give your brain a break too.

3) Self-care together – Who says self-care has to be a private affair? Get you partner involved. Do a face mask, give each other a massage, go for a walk, or meditate together. Do something that makes you both feel super relaxed, and just enjoy the shared peace.

4) Keep developing – Self-development can be a team sport. A sign of a strong and healthy relationship is allowing each other to grow. The aim is to grow together and empower one another.

Why don’t you try something new together? Take up dancing lessons, learn a language, go to a pub quiz, or try a new workout class together. Find something that is ‘your thing’ and enjoy new experiences with each other. Not only are you improving yourself, but you are creating a stronger bond with your partner.

5) Have fun – When was the last time you asked your partner on a date? Not recently enough, I’m guessing? Date nights are so important. They ensure there is still a fun element to your relationship. Adult life can often get in the way, and your partner slowly morphs into some human you spend a lot of time with, and just so happen to feel comfortable peeing in front of.

Don’t allow this to happen.

By all means, still be free in the toilet department, but don’t allow your relationship to fall into a repetitive cycle of adult shite. Have fun, get your sparkle back, and remember why it is you work so well in the first place.

Choose one night a week that is for the two of you, no if’s, but’s or questions. You can go out, or stay in. Get messy or get cosy. Just have one night a week that, for the sake of the rest of the world, you are both unavailable. This will work wonders for your mental health, and your relationship. Down time and your preferred human? What could be better?

6) Have set 'you time' – Alone time is also important. Part of building up trust and security is allowing each other time to be yourselves. Don’t be afraid to do things separately, like seeing family, friends, going for a walk, or just a coffee. This will help remind you that you are perfectly safe on your own. You have survived your mental health journey and you are so strong. This affirmation will help with your self-esteem, which will in-turn, make you a happier, and a more confident partner.

7) Don't pressure yourself – Stop thinking you have to be ‘Couple Goals’. Nobody is. Anyone who claims they are, are talking out of their arse. All couples argue, all couples have good and bad patches. All couples have their own story, that is just theirs and no-one else’s. Do not compare your relationship to anyone else’s. Relationships are private and precious. Don’t judge your own, or anyone else’s. Comparison stunts happiness and mental health progression. We are all too beautifully diverse to be comparable.

8) Continue to work on yourself – Our partners are here to support us, but we cannot rest our mental state on someone else. It’s not fair on them, or us. Chances are, our partners aren’t therapists, so expecting them to take on that role, puts a lot of pressure on the relationship, and our partner. Continue to communicate with them and make them part of your journey, just don’t expect them to solve it for you. This is your journey, and you are more than strong enough to follow your path. Your partner will still be there for you every step of the way.

9) Talk your partner through your progress – This will help your partner realise all the hard work you are putting in, whilst reminding you, you are moving forward in the right direction. Our mental health can feel like we are fighting a losing battle, but we are not. We are learning to soothe our minds, and better our lives, every day. We are always learning and getting stronger because of it. Highlighting this to ourselves, and our partners, will really help with maintaining a positive mindset.

So, talk to your partner about how therapy is going, any interesting articles you’ve found, or self-help books you’re reading. Show them your calming techniques, or some new breathing exercises you like. Be proud of your mental health journey. It’s growing you as a person every day.

10) Love yourself like you love others – Be gentle and forgive yourself for the past. Stop punishing yourself over the struggles and pressures you may face in the future. Allow yourself to just be in the moment of your life, and your relationship.

If you are able to love yourself, even a little bit at a time, it will radiate out of you like sunshine. Not only will this make you so much happier, both in life and your relationship, but it also makes you appear your most beautiful. Free from the chains of not feeling good enough and embracing how wonderful you are. This will make you glow as you never have done before, and after all, who could resist that?

I really hope this post is helpful to you. I hope it highlights that just because you are suffering, your relationship doesn’t have to. I also hope it proves to you, how important taking care of yourself is, and how that, in turn, will help take care of your relationship with others.

I hope you have the most wonderful Valentine’s Day, whether you are single, loved up, out with friends, or snuggling up with a takeaway and a furry friend.

If you enjoyed this post, and would like to try some self-love date ideas, that can include your partner too, then please subscribe down below. You will receive a free copy of my ’20 Self-Love Ideas For You And Your Partner’. Along with extra freebies, VIP content and much more!

As always, tight squeezes! X

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